Whose Choice Is It, Really?

I had a great conversation with a dad the other day, Jason. His 18 year old son is in the final year of high school and getting ready for college. An A student, particularly in Mathematics and the Sciences. Awesome, right!

But, there's some resistance, resistance with the anticipated high school to college transition.

The Battle Begins

His son wants to do coding, as in creating apps, games, and stuff like that. Jason, on the other hand, has a vision of a successful engineer. The battle begins.

Jason excitedly tells me:

"A career as an engineer is lucrative, there's money there. There are tons of opportunities in so many areas. That's the responsible choice. That's the choice he needs to make! Plus, I already saved my money for his college education, this is what's happening. He needs to realize, the world isn't like it is on TV."

Please note, usually, when someone makes a choice, they're the ones choosing. Choosing for someone isn't really "their" choice now, is it. But anyways....

Asking the Right Questions

Of course, as a Kids Life Coach and champion for children, I'm waiting for Jason to be as excited and hyped up about what his son actually wants to do. Well, if not as hyped, but at least sort of hyped? So I'm asking key questions:

• What's the deal with coding?

• The "lucrativity" of it?

• The opportunities in it?

• The responsibility in it?

It's Never Too Late

Jason has a few things to say, but not much. His big point? "Well, if he's been interested in coding, he should've been coding years ago, it's too late to start now." I can clearly see the spark for him is in the engineering career. He's well versed in that area, seems to have done tons of research, and has all his supporting "documents" to state his case.

Before continuing, let me just make sure to mention. It is never too late to start anything. That is the amazing beauty of being a human.

What Science Says About the Teenage Brain

Here's the thing. Around the age of 18 through 25, the teenager turning young adult actually has physiological changes going on in his body, that makes him prone to taking risks, trying new things, being highly innovative and free. It's biology.

"These changes encourage the adolescent to venture away from the family and toward increasingly novel and adult-like activities."

It happens for that reason. It's that time to leave the nest.

With this in mind, Jason's son is clearly choosing the path of passion, of his real interest. Not of what the market needs now, not of logic or rationality. And that's fine! Passion is important. At his age, again, that's how the brain works, with his emotion being a strong driver.

Where Parents Come In

What? But you know a few adults who let emotions drive their decisions too? Well, so do I!

This is where I think parents can step in, and step in gracefully.

"A graceful parent will light up any child's eyes."

Jason knows his son's passion, he knows what excites and motivates him. He also knows the happenings of the world and has years of wisdom and understanding.

How can both these strengths be used to create synergy?